Out of the Office

A friend sent this email a few days ago. Funny stuff

Wouldn't it be fun to use one of these "Out of Office" email Replies?

1 . I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall. Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of numbness sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to formulate an appropriate response to your request.

2. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return on April 1st. Please be patient and your Mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. I've run away to join a different circus.

9. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Marvin' instead of "Martha."

Today's Top 10 Shuffle
Llorca – Indigo Blues With Nicole Graham
No Parking, Midnight Star
Do It, Nelly Furtado
Beck-Farewell Ride, Subtle
Clock With no Hands, The Roots
Searching, Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth
Wishes and Luck, Cool Calm Pete
Spinning Wheel (DJ Spinna Remix), Shirley Bassey & DJ Spinna
Close Edge, Mos Def
Woodcabin, Saint Etienne

Player: Pandora.com

I've been TAGGED by Nicole! Unfortunately, because I have other blogs, I've been tagged by and tagging my blogosphere buddies in recent weeks so I'm all tagged out, but here are the rules (which I proceed to follow half-assed) and my 7 weird facts:

A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog... Check!
B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself... Check!
C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs... Ummm
D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog... ummm

1. I’m allergic to raw apples but I still eat them (very small amounts). Oddly, I can eat and drink apple byproducts (apple sauce, juice, baked apples, etc.) without a reaction.
2. I am deathly afraid of ticks, spiders, and maggots. (I can't even look at a maggot.) However, I'm not afraid of snakes. I'll touch a snake before I touch a spider or even look at a maggot. (Just saying the "m" word makes me queasy.)
3. I ate dirt and mud as a child. There are pictures of me grinning with mud around my mouth.
4. When I was a kid, my dog snatched a chicken bone out of my hand as I was eating. Apparently, I pried his mouth open and stuck my little arm down his throat, pulling out the chicken bone. I attempted to finish the meal so my parents had to snatch the bone from me. Scary for my dog I’m sure and clearly I did it out of my own interests, but it probably saved his life.
5. My parents used their first dog, a rather large German Shepherd, as a live baby monitor for me. My mom would leave me sitting on the couch (or wherever she left me) and instruct the dog to watch me if she had to step away for a moment. He would alert them by barking if I cried or moved. Obviously, I wouldn't advise this, but...I'm still alive! :o)
6. I drive fast yet I’ve only received one ticket (from a camera) and I’ve only been pulled over for other reasons – never speeding. Why? I have special rules for avoiding speeding tickets (foolproof unless you’re dealing with cameras) which I only share with a few select people. Wouldn't YOU like to know! :o)
7. I hate wine. I’ve tried different types and I just don’t see the attraction. Actually, I can’t stand most alcoholic beverages. Liquor makes my bladder hurt and my eyes and mouth feel like cotton and that's no fun.